Tuesday, October 23

Woman to Woman

The topic for today's forum is

Dealing With Grief

"Grief is a difficult process and almost everyone has experienced it in some form, be it losing a spouse, a parent, a relative, a pet, a child or through miscarriage. Please share with our readers what you have found to be effective in helping you come to terms with the death of a loved one. How has it changed your life? How have you been able to move forward?"

I have had my share of dealing with the loss of a loved one. Actually, my entire family is gone. I’m the only one left. In this picture is my Daddy, Mom, Brother, Sister and me, the little one in Mom’s arms.

Mom died in February 1980 and it hurts almost as much now as then. The doctor found a cancerous tumor in her kidney in July 1979. Her kidneys was removed that month. She had radiation for a few months, then died at the age of 68.

My sister was the next to leave us. She was just 57. She was born with …….. and spent her entire lifetime dealing with breathing problems. She had to go on oxygen 24 hours a day in the late 80’s. Smothering would be an extremely difficult way to die. She was in full control of her mind and body, and knew that each breath may be her last. She died in October 1992. My brother and I gave Daddy as much comfort as we could, but its just not natural to lose a child.

Daddy was always a very strong and active person. I can’t remember him every having anything wrong except a mild cold. It wasn’t until the year 2000 that Daddy experienced any real medical problems. He stumped his toe and didn’t seek immediate medical attention. It turned into cancer and he died in October 4, 2001. The last six weeks of his life were horrible on him and the family. My birthday is October 2nd, my nieces’ is October 3rd. We felt Daddy knew the date and waited until after our birthdays to leave us. Daddy was 88.

That left me and my brother. My brother enjoyed traveling. He was a Baptist minister and participated in many missionary trips abroad. The year before he died he was in Russia on one of these trips and developed a kidney stone. He was hospitalized a few days until the stone passed. Shortly after returning home from this trip, he was delivering a sermon at his church and had to stop and start over several time. After the sermon one of the people from the church called his daughter to let her know what happened. That afternoon he was taken to hospital and found he had over 10 brain tumors and one in his lung. They have him 3 months to live. I truly believe that the power of pray helped him live another year. I believe his work on earth was not complete. I had not gone to church in years. When we moved to Hurricane I didn’t know anyone and to start going to a new church was difficult for me to do. When Lloyd was so sick, I knew I had to start going again. Maybe this is what God was waiting for. Lloyd was 74.

I dealt with grief in the same way with the passing of all my family. The day of Mom’s funeral when we were at the chapel at the cemetery, it was time for the family to leave. I just sat there. I believe it was Daddy that said, Linda come on. I just sat there. My brother came over and sat down beside me and I told him I could not leave Mom here. He quietly said, “She’s not here, she’s in heaven with our Lord. This is only her earthly body, but now she is well and sitting with Jesus”. Those words helped me leave with my heart full of love and hope. And, those same words helped me with the passing of the rest of my family.

At my brother’s funeral I overheard his daughter say, “That’s not my Daddy lying there, he is with our Lord”. It has been my faith that has brought me through the difficult times of of losing my family. I know with all my heart, that one day we will all be together again without pain and suffering.


Mama Pajama said...

This post was both heartbreaking and brave. I know it must have been very difficult to write. Your strength and faith in the Lord is very evident. Thank you for sharing about your personal loss, and for giving others the chance to learn from your experiences. God Bless.

Morning Glory said...

Oh Linda, what sorrow you have experienced! I'm so glad you shared this with us today. It's a great statement of faith and love.

Jen said...

I am so very sorry for your losses.

Talk..to..Grams said...

You have truly been brave. I am so glad we have hope in our Savior for a better home. It is what gets us through.

My Mother and Daddy and one sister and two brothers all have gone on to. I am the only one left, my kids say, "Mom you have us".... And paise God I do. But I still miss them all so much. Love you, Carolyn

Lei said...

You have such great faith! I admire that. Thanks for sharing.

Angela said...

Linda, you have faced a lot of sorrow during your life....I am so sorry that you've had to endure so much. However, it is very clear that your faith and love have made you a very strong person.

Thank you for sharing so openly with us today.

May your week be filled with lots of love and laughter!

Theresa said...

Although this was a heartbreaking blog to read, it must of been harder to write. The last two paragraphs did make me swell up.

Before my Aunt died she told me she would look out for me- and I believe she is. What a insightful comment your niece made at your brothers funeral.

Mary said...

Beautiful post and so true. I too have lost many loved ones, but know that they are in a better place. Thanks for sharing your story.


Susie said...

I'm so very sorry for all the loss you've experienced. Your strong and abiding faith is obviously a great comfort to you.

Cynthia said...

So beautiful is your faith. Thank you for sharing your grief and courage.

Many blessings.

Nonna said...

Linda, I'm so sorry for the loss of your family and the sorrow you have experienced. You are a strong, brave woman full of faith and love. Thanks for sharing this with us.

It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

Linda, I have often wondered what do people do that do not have the hope and trust that we have in our lord Jesus!! They must live a very fearful life!! You have went through a lot in your life. Just hang on to your faith in God..

Denise said...

You are such a brave, and beautiful person. Be blessed.

Renee's Ramblings said...

I am so sorry for your losses and the sorrow that has come your way. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Your faith is great and I admire your bravery and strength in going through all you have.

You are an amazing woman!!

SnoopMurph said...

This must have been such a difficult post to write and I certainly wanted to just give you the hugest hug for sharing such personal and painful losses in your life.

Thank you for sharing this story, because it touches all of us. Many hugs for you.