Do you ever experience writer's block? That is what I'm experiencing today and is the reason I'm posting "Why, Why, Why". I've seen this before, however when I read it the other day it still brought me a smile. I know you can identify with at least one of these.
Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE.....
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
This is a true story. It was a sunny summer afternoon in the 1980's when I heard an unusual chirping coming from my backyard. I stepped out onto the deck and could hear more clearly flapping and a bird screaming out in distress. I looked up into a near-by tree and could see a bird hanging upside down with a string caught around its leg and around a branch in the tree. The bird kept flapping and squawking, trying to get itself up on a branch. Not being fond of birds, I thought, you deserve this. Then I pictured this bird dying from lack of food and water and later nothing but a skeleton hanging from this string. I couldn't let that happen.
The bird was too high for me to reach then I thought, firemen rescue cats out of trees all the time, I would just call the fire department. I went into the house, looked up the number for the fire department and gave them a call. A fireman answered. I said, "I need you to come to my house and get a bird out of my tree". Can you just think what this fireman was thinking? He politely told me the fire department could not help me. I asked, "Why not, you rescue cats from trees all the time." It is important to let you know, I had not told this fireman about the bird being caught with the string, I was just asking for their help in getting this bird out of my tree. Finally the fireman told me he would need to speak with the Captain. Instead, he put the Captain on the phone. I could hear laughter in the background and could not understand what was so funny.
Again, I told the Captain I needed their assistance in getting a bird out of my tree. He told me birds live in trees and he could not help me. Duh....then I remember I had not fully explained the situation about the bird being trapped. After filling him in on the whole story and more persuasion, he agreed to send a fireman to my house. He told me if it rained I would have to come to the station and wash the fire truck.
It wasn't long before a big fire truck pulled up in front of my house. All the kids in the neighborhood came running to see what was going on. Of course the tree was in my backyard, therefore the ladder on the truck would not reach that far. The fireman assessed the situation and grabbed hold of the trunk of the tree and climbed it without any assistance. When he reached the bird, he pulled out a knife and cut the string and off flew the bird. Well, for sometime I was known as the lady who called the fire department for help in getting a bird out of her tree.
I received the following in an email This is priceless.
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!
This is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting? That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!
Here's the answers to yesterday's test. If you haven't seen the test, you may not want to read the answers.
Cop takes thief
Cop comes back
Cop takes girl
Cop and thief comes back
Mom takes girl
Mom comes back
Mom and dad
Dad comes back
Cop takes thief
Mom comes back
Mom and dad
Dad comes back
Dad takes son
Cop and thief comes back
Cop takes son
Cop comes back
Cop takes thief
This is supposed to be a test used with some employers in Japan to test an applicants IQ. The following rules apply:
1. Only 2 persons on the raft at a time
2. The father cannot stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence.
3. The mother cannot stay with any of the sons without their father's presence.
4. The thief cannot stay with any family member if the Policeman is not present.
5. Only the mother, father, and Policeman can operate the raft. To move the people click on them. To move the raft across the river, click on the pole on the opposite side of the river. To start the IQ test, click on the big blue circle on the right lower side of the screen, after of course, clicking on the url below.
http://tinyurl.com/5jl2o
It took me several tries before I was able to move everyone across the river. This is a cute test for kids as well. I'll post the solution tomorrow.
Have Fun.
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than ten years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half." You're never 36-and-a-half ...you're four-and-a-half going on 5.
You get into your teens; now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16." You could be 12, but you're gonna be 16. Eventually.
Then the great day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21....Yes!! Then you turn 30. What happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. What's wrong? What changed?
You BECOME 21; you TURN 30.
Then you're PUSHING 40....stay over there.
You REACH 50.
You BECOME 21; you TURN 30; You're PUSHING 40; you REACH 50; then you MAKE IT to 60. By then you've built up so much speed, you HIT 70. After that, it's a day by day thing.
You HIT Wednesday...You get into your 80's; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30. My Grandmother won't even buy green bananas. "Well, it's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one." And it doesn't end there....Into the 90's, you start going backwards. "I was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half."
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledge about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP for now, my time is UP, so............ it is time to shut UP.
Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? U-P
