Wednesday, June 13

Feeling Blue

A couple weeks ago I went in for my annual check-up with my family physician. Of course he ordered blood work, told me I needed a colonoscopy since it has been 12 years since my last one, and told me to be sure and have my GYN send him the results of my visit with him. This past Thursday I went in for the blood work. Let me tell you right here, I have a horrible fear of needles. It doesn't hurt, I know that, but I'm still afraid. You would think after all these years it wouldn't bother me. That is not the purpose of this post. My results came back showing my cholesterol is still high and I have a "moderate" amount of blood in my urine. I have been scheduled to see an urologist on July 2nd.

The Internet is a blessing and a curse. I immediately went to webmd to see what could cause blood in the urine. The BIG C came up. Now I'm freaked out!!! I'm not experiencing any discomfort so I'm hoping it is just a bladder infection that can be cured with an antibiotic; however, I can't dismiss the fact that it could be something more serious. I've written in other posts how turning 60 has been bothering me. Right now I am embracing turning 60. Life is such a wonderful gift but getting old isn't fun.

Yesterday I kept reflecting back on losing Mom, Daddy, my sister and just a year ago the 6th of this month my brother. The tears were flowing non-stop. To make things worse, I have been going through old negatives that I found about a month ago from the 60's and early 70's. (This is a whole different story I will write about next week). Looking at those negatives made the tears flow more. Where has my life gone? What do I have to show? I know, I'm going through a big pity trip right now and I must snap out of this. It's just my nature to think of the worse.

Now I just need to get through the next couple of weeks until my appointment with the urologist. It seems like everything in my body is screaming at me......boy what stress can do.


It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

Linda, I know about pity parties...but you know we need to have them. I also think that sometimes when you write these thoughts out that it helps you when you see them written down!! I don't know where you stand on your faith but mine is very strong and it is in times like these that I turn to it!! I need God to talk too in these bad times.
I have been 60 now for 2 years!! smile!! It is not too bad!! It is just a number..or at least that is what everyone tells me!! I am not liking getting older any more than anyone else likes it. I have been going to curves now for 2 years and trying to keep my energy levels up. I think that helps keep me going some. Exercise always helps!!
I can completely understand where you are coming from. I understand your negative attitude too. I am just beginning to learn that I need to stay away from that. I spent too much time in my life dwelling on the negative things and taking away all of that"good time" I could have been using on the good things in life!! Try thinking of it that way!!
I think growing up!!...what we are doing now brings you to thinking about life in general..thinking that it is time to take each day as it comes and do something special with it and not waste it on negative things.
Just hang in there. I am here for you anytime. Write me if you like at

Renee's Ramblings said...


I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

Mary said...

Oh, Linda, I'm right there with you! I often wonder where the decades have gone. You'll be getting a chatty email in the next couple of days from me catching you up on stuff. Till then, I'm sending good thoughts your way!

It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

Thanks, Linda for stopping by and then going to see Julie today. I hope she gets a whole bunch of comments today..Sandy